Curiouser and Curiouser

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like you fell down the rabbit hole? I just got an email from a minister who liked my profile. I know that age is just a number but he's 57-he's like 4 years younger than my dad-are you serious? That's just beyond creepy. Also the list of attributes that he wanted his lady to have just cracked me up. Like you can't act like Satan's first cousin if you go to Sunday school and bible study on Wednesday nights. No offense to this guy-He knows what he wants-I just want someone more normal and closer to my age(a lot closer)-is that so bad? I'm also going on the record-christian dudes kind of creep me out-yes I am a christian-but some guys take that whole wives be submissive to your husband stuff way to far. They never seem to read the rest of the scripture-you're supposed to love me like Christ loved the church-he even gave his life for the church. Does it sound like God made you king of the hill? Sounds to me like he made you my spiritual nurturer-my encourager-my lover and best friend-my support system-just I am for you. So until I can meet a liberal christian man who likes me for me and wants my dreams to be fulfilled as much as his own-I'll wait.

des

Can I go play outside?

It's been so beautiful lately. I've had to put my car thermostat on cool twice! I love this time of year. It's just warm enough but not too hot. I'm still craving a bike excursion. I decided to ride my old bike-forgetting that the last person who rode it last summer was my nephew. While my nephew is fairly tall-at 8 he's not taller than me. So the bike seat was all the way down to the frame. I felt like a little old grandma hunched over on my too short bike. I did ride anyway and it was awesome. My heart pumped blood like it never pumped before-so I got to rushes-one the rush you get when the blood and adrenaline is coursing through your body - and the rush you get from coasting back down a hill you just struggled to pedal up. I'm so ready for my real bike-the one that doesn't hurt my bottom. I'm thinking that I need to do some test driving of each model. Come on tax rebate-mama needs a new bike. Guess what-I'm down again-no not down on my luck-or down on myself-My weight's down. Yipeeee!. I want to make lemonade and put on my pedal pushers and push on some bike pedals. I'm thinking of going to farmers market as soon as it opens. No more frankenfood for me. Catch me on the way down.

Des

Can I give you some unsolicited advice in a round about way?

Hey Guys,

It's funny when people won't say anything to your face about your size,but all of a sudden the conversation turns to weight loss strategies and body building techniques and the weight watchers points system. I don't know what it is about being around a person of size that makes people think they can say just anything. If I here one more:You'd be pretty if.....

I'd love you more if......You're an awesome person if only you could....

Lose some weight! I'm going to scream. When are we going to wake up to the fact that it matters how you treat people. Not just the pretty or handsome skinny ones either. I'm a person of substance,courage,and valor. I'm funny,encouraging,kind,generous,helpful,loving. What more could you want in a person. It's almost like people are subconsciously doing comparison shopping. Trying to see how they measure up to those around them. Measure me by the size of my heart not the size of my thighs. That being said- I am losing weight by making better food choices-but if you're in it for the package only-pass me by. I need someone who can see me as I truly am-a beautiful person in transition. Changing to be the best me I can be. You miss out on awesome people when you're appearance based only.

des

I FEEL GOOD!

I feel so good right now. I've actually started making a list and checking it twice. Yesterday I got everything I'd been putting off doing done! How cool is that. I've learned something about myself. If I write it down in a little notebook-I'm more apt to do it. So I'm now going to create Desi's book of things to do before she turns 40. Here's a sample of some of my top things to do. Roam where I want to, Start a small business, Get physical,find me somebody to love, Find my life's work. It's all about being flexible-I've been reading this great book called finding your life's work. I've spent most of my time trying not to be interested in to many things at one time or letting other people in my life dictate what I should be interested in. So I've got to find a way to be that guitar playing,salsa dancing, hard core knitting,glass blowing,body building,car repairing lady you all know and love. I know that you take on too much your focus becomes scattered and you may not accomplish anything. So I'm going to be flexible and figure out a way to be good at being me. wish me luck!

des

Why don't we ride- side by side-yes why don't we ride

Hey guys,-


I'm in total bike fever right now. I'm really aching to plunk down $400 plus dollars and put my lime green retro-glide(with the granny seat!yes!) in my trunk. I want to ride every day this spring If i can manage it. There's no greater feeling than peddling up a long hill and coasting down the other side. The feel of the wind pressing against your body as you gain momentum is such a rush. It's also great for you legs. I'm trying to downsize my thighs by doing exercises that I actually like. I prefer weight training to cardio-although I know that cardio is a necessary evil. So bike riding has always been fun for me. I'm not sure that I can wait until next pay to buy a bike. I saw a bike kind of like my green one but markedly much cheaper-it's only $185 dollars-with tax I could walk away for maybe less than $200 dollars. I thought about going the cheap route and getting a walmart reject-but I've done that and my butt has paid the price for it. you would think they would make seats for people who actually have seats. To date I'm down 20 pounds and I'm looking to knock off another by June. I love this kind of down sizing. I can actually feel the changes in my body. As I've said before It's not vanity that's making me do this. Or wanting Mr. G.Q to notice me-It's all about me and what I want to do with my life. I want to dance and to do that I've got to be able to move. See you at my next milestone. I'll be the one wearing a smaller size and wearing my new confidence like a shield.

see ya again friends.

des

It's So Hard to Say Good Bye

Hey guys,

I have a dilemma. I have to let my old choir know that I won't be singing with them anymore. It's one of those situations where nobody wins. I feel that I need the teaching of our previous pastor more than I need to sing with the choir. I dearly love the members of the choir but I'm not growing spiritually anymore. So when our old pastor started a new church-I kind of dropped the choir like a bad habit. At first I'd go to my pastor's church and then go back to my old church and sneak in the back way to the choir stand and sing with my old choir. That left me feeling like an adulterous wife. Where do my loyalties lie? Do I go where I can power up spiritually or, do I honor my commitment to the choir. I finally realized that I need the word and the light my pastor shines on it. It has been so weird- I miss singing with the choir but love the insights and teaching I receive from my pastor. I've been told that pastors are only men-and that's true. but they've been charged with teaching the word of god just as he would have it taught. Once you have someone who is able to explain the word to you in such a way that you can grasp it and apply it to your life- you kind of want to stick with what works. What makes it really weird is that I have no idea how to go about this. I mean how do you break up your choir. How do you look into the face of people who have watched you grow up and tell them you've decided to in a word-take your toys and go home. Do I send them a Dear Church letter? Do I tell them it's not you it's me? I love the members of my old church but I don't know what direction they are going in. I just can't wait for a new pastor when my old pastor is readily available. I sat in the church parking lot for 20 minutes debating whether or not I should go in. I finally decided on coming back at the end of choir rehearsal. I have to grow some balls and tell them what's up. Maybe if I was more established in the word maybe my church's rift wouldn't have thrown me for a loop. But I guess I forgot that the church is a hospital for sinners. I've been so out of the loop lately. I'm finally getting my groove back with God-It's slow going but he is faithful. I'm so glad that he's not like me. He's patient and understands my quirks and loves me anyway. I know this is a long post but sometimes the emotions in your heart are so strong you have put it out there to help someone else. So if you are going through changes-job,church,family- don't give up! there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Des